Jawbreaker
by OpheliacAngel
Summary: Rachel was his friend, but she was something more, wasn't she? Nick/Rachel (pre-slash), Nick/Julia (past). Written for h/c bingo for the prompt 'toothache.'


**Title: **Jawbreaker

**Author: **OpheliacAngel

**Pairings: **Nick/Rachel, past Nick/Julia

**Genres: **Friendship/Romance

**Rating: **Teen

**Summary: **Rachel was his friend, but she was something more, wasn't she?

**A/N: **Written for h/c_bingo for the prompt 'toothache.'

* * *

><p>Nick had become good friends with Rachel in the few short months since they had met, but they weren't good enough friends for this.<p>

Rachel's hand was currently lying on his shoulder and he shrugged it off, trying to ignore the shooting pain in the back of his mouth and also trying not to cradle his jaw in his hand. The pain was so intense that all he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and die already. He knew he was being a baby, and in front of a concerned Rachel no less, but it was hard to talk, think or do anything when one of your teeth was throbbing a hundred pain-staking beats per minute.

"Nick," Rachel warned him, exasperated as Nick slunk away from her and plopped himself into an armchair. "You're just exacerbating the problem. You need to go to a dentist and get that tooth checked out."

Rachel, always the voice of reason, the one who always knew what to do.

"I'm fine."

Nick had been sulking since Julia's death, not willing to take care of himself. Why look after his own well-being when the one light in his world was gone? It was his fault that she was dead and he felt it every single second of every single day. Nick should have defied Derek and gone with her, and that fact he would never live down. If only he could see her again, one last time, not that demon-ized version of her he saw too soon after her death.

If only he could hold her in his arms again and kiss her until she shoved him off of her.

They had started a tentative romance before she died, but it had been everything in Nick's entire world. Julia had kept on pushing him away but Nick knew how she felt about him, and he figured that they would have all the time in the world. How wrong he was.

How fucking _wrong. _

Pulling himself out of bed in the mornings was almost impossible when he knew Julia wasn't sleeping in the room next to his, or cooking breakfast downstairs in the kitchen. He would lie there most mornings, trying to convince himself that the world needed him, that Derek and Alex and the legacy needed him, but it only seemed like another lie, one that could no longer hold up to Nick's sinking realization. Eventually he would always come to the conclusion that there was no way he could stay in bed forever, but that point was a longer time coming each day that passed him by.

The best thing that he did was convince Rachel that she belonged with them. They both wanted to give up for the same reasons, that debilitating sense of loss, the knowledge that no matter how hard they tried they wouldn't be able to save some, and that the world would always be just a step away from being consumed by darkness. But together they were a family. And Nick really wanted something good to come out of Julia's death. He knew he shouldn't put so much on Rachel, but Nick convinced her anyway, lying to himself that he - all of them - could protect her.

It was a lie. He couldn't protect Julia. He couldn't even take her place.

Hell, he couldn't attend Julia's funeral, too traumatized to take it. Derek had been pissed at him when he came back, but Nick had shouted at him to 'fuck off!' and that's exactly what Derek did, putting his hands up in surrender and backing out of the room, and Nick had tried to ignore the look on his face but he couldn't. They all looked at him like he was broken and Nick almost wanted to laugh at them and tell them they were right.

Except they couldn't fix him.

"It's my fault." Rachel bent down at his feet, looking up at him with incredibly sad eyes. Nick couldn't decide if it was better or worse than where she had previously been, standing there like a statue, staring at an utterly defeated Nick. Shit, Nick realized, she didn't need this in her life. She had enough on her plate to worry about. It was kinda too late for that now though. "I didn't love her enough," Nick elaborated. "I couldn't protect her. And now she's dead."

"Julia," Rachel said, but it wasn't a question and Nick didn't bother to nod. His head was too heavy anyway, and his jaw would explode in shooting pain if he moved more than an inch.

Rachel was his friend, but she was something more, wasn't she?

It was the way her hand cradled his face when he was hurt, emotionally or physically. He had only known her for a little over three months and already he was sure he had known her for three lifetimes. He and Rachel connected in a lot of ways, a lot of _good _ways, but it didn't ease the hurt of Julia's murder, and her soft eyes and gentle touch didn't make Nick blame himself less either.

She didn't try to touch him again, even though Nick could tell that she wanted to. She didn't try to tell him it wasn't his fault either. Rachel did care about him, enough to still be here trying to help his stubborn ass. But Nick was beyond help, couldn't she see that?

"Nick, do you trust me?" She knew he did, but maybe she was just trying to make Nick realize that. He trusted her so much that he physically ached sometimes, the desire for something more, and he knew it wasn't just from wanting to trust her so badly. He trusted her more than Derek and just as much as he did Alex, and he had known her for far less time. She would have his back, and if he remembered that then maybe it would be enough. "If you do then you'll come with me. Please, Nick." He didn't know how to respond to that, didn't even know if he wanted to respond to it.

"I trust you, Rachel." Despite the physical pain his words caused him, he wanted Rachel to hear it. She meant a lot to him, and by the look on her face she knew that too.

She held out her hand and Nick took it as what it was: a sign of friendship, the knowledge that Rachel would put her own life on hold to take care of him and his own problems when he couldn't take care of himself.

But as soon as he was on his feet, Derek made his way into the room. "I think I've found something."

"Not now, Derek," Rachel cut in before he could say anything more. "I have to take Nick to the dentist." Nick was pleasantly shocked at the determination in her voice and written all over her face. He knew enough about Rachel to know that when she wanted something, nothing would stand in her way. Not even Derek. But this was ultimately defying Derek. This was putting their work on hold just so they could go about some normal human routine of going to the dentist.

"Well, can't it wait?" Nick figured it could, he really needed to get his head back into the game. Julia was gone, and someday he would have to move past that on his own and without Rachel's help.

He felt Rachel tense before she exploded. "No, it can't wait!"

Derek recoiled from Rachel's raised voice just as quickly as Nick did, the Precept's eyes wide and a look of disbelief shadowing his previous anticipation for the work ahead of them. Nick was surprised he backed down as quickly as he did. "Alright then."

Rachel put a hand on Nick's shoulder then and steered him out of the room and outside, helping him into the passenger's seat and closing the door gingerly. Nick shot her a grateful look before she crossed over to the driver's side. If she had slammed that door, his mouth would still be reverberating with the force. Also, he didn't really think he could drive at the moment.

"You didn't have to do that, you know," he told her when they were on the road. He had a hand cupped over his cheek, trying to hold his jaw in place but moaning pitifully when Rachel hit another pothole.

She cursed under her breath and apologized, taking her eyes off the road for a moment to smile re-assuredly at him. "What are friends for?"

"I have to tell you, that was pretty risky back there, standing up like you did to Derek." He winced and told himself to shut up, his talking only making the incessant throbbing in his jaw worse, but Rachel looked a little tense and he wanted to make her feel better. It was the least he could do. "But it was awesome too. You're definitely one of us."

Rachel grinned at that and reached a hand over to pat his knee. For some reason though, it wasn't enough for her, and she left her hand there for the remainder of the ride, squeezing his knee gently when they came to a stop in the parking lot. Nick didn't once try to brush her hand away, soaking up the comfort she was offering to him. He still felt like he didn't deserve it, but in Rachel's eyes he did.

Standing up to Derek, he chuckled at the memory. What else would she do for him? And what lengths would he go to to protect her?

After the three-hour dentist appointment Rachel wrapped an arm in his as they walked outside and placed a quick kiss on his cheek, the one that wasn't _still_ throbbing like a son of a bitch, and Nick looked up at her in surprise. It would take a while for him to heal, for him to remember Julia for how she was and move on, but the two of them had plenty of time. More than anything, he wanted to make room in his life for Rachel and for Kat. "Gonna have to give you a rain check on that one."

Rachel smiled at him knowingly. "I'll be waiting to see what you come up with, tough guy."

**FIN**


End file.
